The Kill
what if i wanted to break
laugh it all off in your face
what would you do?
what if i fell to the floor
couldn't take all this anymore
what would you do?
i tried to be someone else
but nothing seemed to change
i know now, this is who i really am inside
falling from myself
falling for a chance
i know now, this is who i really am
kill
break me down
bury me, bury me
i am finished with you
look in my eyes
you're killing me, killing me
all I wanted was you
Friday, September 02, 2005
-12:58 AM
can you guess? yes, 30 seconds to mars' new album 'a beautiful lie' is my latest muse. well, personally i don't think it was that great an effort compared to the first, but well, it's something new anyways. i've been on a 'cd shopping craze' and well here are my gains:
>30 seconds to mars: a beautiful lie
>tom petty and the heartbreakers: anthology
>scissor sisters: scissor sisters
>from autumn to ashes: abandon your friends
>30 seconds to mars: 30 seconds to mars
>the smashing pumpkins: mellon collie and the infinite sadness
>paul oakenfold: creamfields
>paul van dyk: reflections
>paul oakenfold: swordfish ost
>dj tiesto: just be
>dj tiesto: adagio for strings ep
>dj tiesto feat. junkie xl: obsession single
>the crystal method: community service 2
>armin van buuren: a state of trance 2005
and well.. i'm a happy man.. for now. nothing it seems, can satisfy me forever. weird as it is... and now i eagerly anticipate next year where i will get my vehicle. and soon, alot of expenditure will have to stop to feed my already-growing-addiction to modify my wheels. next year! next year! i can almost smell it. but of course, nothing is for certain. and i plan my route...
on a musical note, i've been collaborating alot and recently, i've been asked to master an album. well.. master and record that is. a jazz/pop band. a big break? i didn't think so. but well, we'll see if i'd actually do it. there's just too many things to be done, and either i've not enough time because the FUCKING ARMY is taking too much time away from me, or i just can't be fucked to get off my ass to do it. .... .... .... and after much consideration, i realize that it is the former. i'm sure i could be doing a lot more if i wasn't in the army. fuck this shit.
i thank god i have my stress relief object with me. that being my dart board. haha!
afterburner's received raving comments. from friends and family alike... and from some people i hardly know. surprised? well, i was. i didn't think it was that good, but i guess it grows on you. i still a good title for it. if you're interested, please drop me a msg and let me know and i will send you the track for your kind perusal. haha! no, but for real, i need some good titles here. my mind is blanked out after being drained creatively and i seriously think i need a long holiday. away from all of this, away from this so-called life. why do i need a break? let me count the ways... first, i smoke too much.. enough to kill an entire colony of non-smokers. secondly, i drink too much coffee and therefore i lose too much sleep and it's all due to the fact that i'm the only motherfucker in the camp that probably knows the two ways on doing a video. either that or i'm easy to exploit. which of course, is a more probable possibility because i'm afterall, the last to leave. sad fucking life. thirdly, i need to regain back consciousness and spend more time with myself. alone and away from work, music, friends etc. it's becoming an overkill... oh god, i hope i can hold my sanity together. did i mention that i hate to be controlled?
i never wanted any of this crap.
