look to end, the voice said. look to the sunrise. the rain will stop sooner than you know it.

i cannot see the end. i can feel it around the corner, but i cannot see it. i wish i could feel it much more. it gives me the strength to fight on, to trudge on, knowing i'm nearing the finishing line. i'm dragging my body through all the shit and mud, through all the humilation and unreasonable orders and all that 'so-called regimental shit'. how many more days? let me see...

76 working days. (minus all the offs and leaves i have which, if i didn't forget the last amount i had - 59) yes. so i guess it brings the grand total to.. 17 more working days. and i'm trying to forget that i have to stay back in camp and all that shit. duties, courtesy of a very important toad i know.

look to end. look to the finishing line. how good will it feel when you leave your burnt tyre marks at the gate of that godforsakened camp. the euphoria you will experience, when you blast your favorite track and slowly roll past everything you used to know for the last 2 years and 2 months..how..good..

i don't know. i can't see it. but i'm trying. so help me god.

one more week before the entire bunch of useless people come back from taiwan. well.. a little more than a week i guess. hopefully i'll find out just exactly how much off i have. i hope it's nothing short of 36. i hope.. hope is good isn't it?

...i hope my entire plan will go without a hitch. please god. please. and then.. it'll be a good show. the perfect show. with the screeching of tyres, and the roaring of a vtec engine. and everything else will be left... in the dust. memories. the tears. the blood. the green. the assholes i hated. every-fucking-thing.

soon. but it feels so close... yet so far.