The Kill
what if i wanted to break
laugh it all off in your face
what would you do?
what if i fell to the floor
couldn't take all this anymore
what would you do?
i tried to be someone else
but nothing seemed to change
i know now, this is who i really am inside
falling from myself
falling for a chance
i know now, this is who i really am
kill
break me down
bury me, bury me
i am finished with you
look in my eyes
you're killing me, killing me
all I wanted was you
Monday, April 03, 2006
-6:14 AM
new muse: toksin
new mix: bt's communicate remixed by toksin (toksin's narcan remix)
tonight's jam was good. nothing more could be said... just, good. never expected it outta a 3-4 am jam but oh well. the people - hussin (guitars), chris (bass, and later drums then guitars and finally back to drums), julius (drums, then bass, then drums) and me (guitars, and to bass and back to guitars again). i couldn't believe it. we did the old stuff. mostly... old stuff, all covers. green day's when i come around, cake's i will survive (hell yeah!), blink 182's dammit and alot more. my voice gave out almost halfway through but it was still good.
the beginning of the day wasn't half that bad either. went x square to do def jam and finally.. i can't believe i'm saying this, but.. we played DoA. omfg. but it was cool.. and hot. i finally see what the fuss is all about. the girls are really hot. christie's my favorite... i totally dig her white hair! (and what she was wearing and her fucking japanese voice! wheee!) the sad part of it is that we can't play volleyball half as well as the girls can. bloody hell.
later today imma try to reply my 'long over due' emails and hopefully get back down to the cabin to compose, again. something like 'communicate'. it always seems that i'm influenced by what i'm currently listening to. haha!
tonight, i can finally sleep soundly.. i think. seriously, tonight's jam really made me want to pick up guitars.. again. i know i'm supposed to be giving it up but what the hell.. i miss playing to 'live aus berlin' and i even miss head banging in my own room. this time however, i'm smarter and i've decided on what kinda sound i'm actually getting. a cheaper but still workable (maybe even better sounding) setup then the previous. no more flashy guitars!
i can't help but feel a little sad and disappointed to some degree.. knowing that something's gonna end even before beginning it is quite a.. i dunno. oh well.. everything's gotta end someday. i just wish we had more time together. 1 year seems a little too short. and i hope you're really coming over sometime this week.
