The Kill
what if i wanted to break
laugh it all off in your face
what would you do?
what if i fell to the floor
couldn't take all this anymore
what would you do?
i tried to be someone else
but nothing seemed to change
i know now, this is who i really am inside
falling from myself
falling for a chance
i know now, this is who i really am
kill
break me down
bury me, bury me
i am finished with you
look in my eyes
you're killing me, killing me
all I wanted was you
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
-11:21 PM
listening to: gary numan - haunted
there's something new sitting in my room right now. my new plaything. part 1 of a 3-part accessory. a brand new fucking pc. oh hell yes... finally. every part.. well, almost every part of it to specification. and it's a bloody dual core. currently really happy, but i'm sure soon enough i won't be. knowing me that is. the remaining 2 parts are a full dj set - 2 cdjs (mkIIs hopefully), 1 mixer, and a car. heh. most likely the former will come before the latter. but hey! who knows. who bloody knows.
6 days to the countdown. but there's a lot more to think of rather than just to ord. there are bigger things in life. things like.. projects, a job, money etc. i wonder, will i ever make it in the outside world? time will tell.
i just want to get my current project out of the way so i can focus on my 'own' project. gettin' my portfolio together and getting all this shit outta the way. there's just so many things to worry about. and i begin to wonder, is this really the lifestyle i want? can i really escape from this whole vicious cycle? i don't know, but all my friends are telling me to go for some r-n-r. i think i need to, someday. hopefully. go backpacking in europe by myself. no hassles. :D and also to visit the fabled tomato.co.uk
i just want to fucking leave this country. and everyone else behind, except for my parents of course. leave and never come back. leave all the memories behind, because apparently, memories don't matter. the past is what made me, and i'm going to make the future.
nothing else matters.
just help me get over this project. get it done and over with. over and over. fullstop. game over.
