The Kill
what if i wanted to break
laugh it all off in your face
what would you do?
what if i fell to the floor
couldn't take all this anymore
what would you do?
i tried to be someone else
but nothing seemed to change
i know now, this is who i really am inside
falling from myself
falling for a chance
i know now, this is who i really am
kill
break me down
bury me, bury me
i am finished with you
look in my eyes
you're killing me, killing me
all I wanted was you
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
-7:58 AM
Listening:
Paris Hilton - Turn it Up
Ok so this might sound like I'm a pop whore.. but the new Paris album just kicks ass! Well, actually just the first 3 tracks that is. I can almost imagine digging into the sand, soaking up the sun and listening to 'Stars are Blind'. Which reminds me, I haven't been to the beach in ages.
I can hear my other voice saying: Children of the Night are supposed to be pale and white.
So it's done. It's over. And I'm gettin' paid a hundred bucks lesser than expected. Well, I'm disappointed yes, but it could be worse. Alot worse. But as with every single fucking thing, there's always loose ends to tie up.
Top of the list would have to try and 'explain' myself out of a 70 buck fine that I got for illegal parking. (fuck) The next would be to mail the producer the revised invoice. And then mail CPF a letter for deferment of payment for some bills i racked up for going to poly. 3 things. Not very difficult is it?
Think again. There's a hell lot of other things as well....
I need to work out my portfolio! Fucking cheebye, flash mx is not exactly the easiest thing to figure out and thanks to some friends, I found some tutorial website but their not exactly helpful either. And after struggling for a few days, I realize that maybe my flair isn't in web design and flash. To hell with this, I'm still gonna try. I don't believe I can't work it out.... So yeah, there's my portfolio. There's my certificates and a pile of testimonials to print out. My CV to type out, and then finally... to look for a job. Great. I wonder, what am I gettin' myself into?
The only thing that seems to be driving me now is gettin' my wheels. To be specific, Honda Integra. (or at least a Honda Civic EK version) In my tiny little world, I guess getting my wheels would add a little more spice to my life. Then at least I have something to look forward to when I get my paycheck every month - modifying the car! Woohoo~
Pardon me, I'm still very much a male at heart.
Although it all seems to going my way, well.. somewhat my way, I cannot deny that I feel there's something missing from my life. There's a little void there which I can't seem to put a finger on. Some friends have suggested that it could be the lack of partnership (simply put - Find yourself a girlfriend, muthafucka), but I somehow beg to differ. It's not just about getting a girlfriend. It's a little deeper than that although I don't even know where to begin to describe. My choices are open and as it is, there are like 2-3 potential targets offering themselves, but the one that I'd love to be with just seems further away than the sun. Perhaps it's not meant to be. Fuck that shit. I guess it'll be better if I just bask in the sunshine of single hood.
Top ten wishlist (I've been a good boy Santa, please note this down):
1. Honda Integra Type S- $55,000 - $65,000
2. Pioneer DJM-600 (black) w/ 2 Pioneer CDJ 200s - $2,500 - $3,500
3. Epiphone 1958 Korina Explorer - $720
4. Lasik Surgery - $3,500
5. Sony Ericsson K800 - $800 +
6. A life-sized Stitch plush toy - (I have no idea how much that costs)
7. Creative Zen Neon 5GB - $289
8. Honda K20A (Engine only for option no. 1) - $4000
9. HKS Supersprint (for option no. 1) - $900
10. 4 x Tein HA Suspensions (for option no. 1) - $2000 (I think?)
Previous options attained -
1. Brand new dual core PC w/ 19" LCD
2. Sony Ericsson K750
3. Dell Core Duo Laptop
4. 5k plus in bank.
More.. more more! I want more! Greed is the only snake that cannot be charmed, indeed.
