The Kill
what if i wanted to break
laugh it all off in your face
what would you do?
what if i fell to the floor
couldn't take all this anymore
what would you do?
i tried to be someone else
but nothing seemed to change
i know now, this is who i really am inside
falling from myself
falling for a chance
i know now, this is who i really am
kill
break me down
bury me, bury me
i am finished with you
look in my eyes
you're killing me, killing me
all I wanted was you
Thursday, January 25, 2007
-10:26 PM
listening:
marilyn manson - mechanical animals
nothing much has improved since i last got back. still feeling the same old shit. perhaps it's about time i change. i don't want to, but perhaps i need to get back into that cocoon again and find out who i've really become.
looking at the mirror too many times just makes me wonder: am i really who i think i am?
life was indeed, a lot more easier when i was emotionless. feelingless. without a heart. and maybe bern really taught me a very good lesson on how to 'feel' for someone. and now, i fucking feel too much.
this is not going anywhere. i need to remember the rules. because although those rules can be bent, and sometimes broken... rules will be rules. and some of them are actually there for me to remember that people (in general) are just not meant to be trusted. because they can turn on you anytime, anywhere. especially when you're at your weakest. people, will walk out on you. and at the heart of it all... all you have... is yourself. when they need you, they'll come to you, when they don't, they leave for greener pastures and never once will they turn back and even say: thank you, or show a little gratitude and stay with you (at least).
so once again, i change. once again, i shed my skin. and once again.... i put on that mask. because the masquerade is town.
