The Kill
what if i wanted to break
laugh it all off in your face
what would you do?
what if i fell to the floor
couldn't take all this anymore
what would you do?
i tried to be someone else
but nothing seemed to change
i know now, this is who i really am inside
falling from myself
falling for a chance
i know now, this is who i really am
kill
break me down
bury me, bury me
i am finished with you
look in my eyes
you're killing me, killing me
all I wanted was you
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
-6:33 PM
listening: green day - give me novacaine
and so i've decided to restart this blog. for reasons which i do not yet know. maybe boredom... maybe a lot more things. maybe i just need to rant out everything that i'm thinking to a world that doesn't give a fuck.
maybe i'll finally publicize this place. maybe i won't. maybe i'll feel better when someone actually reads this and sympathizes with me. but then again, sympathy is the last thing on earth which i really need. what do i need? i don't know. maybe someone to hold me and tell me everything's gonna be ok... but that would make me sound really really wimpy. still, everyone needs someone.
too many things have happened since my last visit here. and i'm still clinging on to this emotional and physical rollercoaster for my dear life. because... if i get flung off, i think i might just go insane and lose everything i've built up for so long.
it's funny how life plays tricks on you isn't it?
well.. right about now, i wish i could just scream out and declare to the world that: yes! i actually like someone! and i think i might be falling for her! (yes i've met someone if you didn't realize) but this 'thing' that we both have is far from ordinary. and i guess we all have our own battles to face... i just hope that the ending is actually how i dreamed it to be. because i'm falling faster... much faster than i allow myself to. i just hope that the feeling is mutual.
every single time... every fucking time... we say goodbye and move our seperate ways, i just think that those times just went a little too soon. am i experiencing euphoria? perhaps. it's been awhile since i've had someone hug me in a way that's a little 'more than a friend'. so just let me indulge in this for as long as i can. hopefully... forever. but this road is gonna be long, and the fires are gonna be fierce. what better person to walk this road than me? afterall, hell is my living room.
....and even at this point, i still wanna indulge in the fantasy that all my problems and headaches will be blown off once the turbo kicks in.
"...don't you see?... we're in this together... you and me... what i want forever.. don't you see?... we're in this together... you and me...and in your troubled eyes i see... someone who carried me somehow... like footprints in the sand... you've been behind me all along... now it's you and me... let's get it on... don't you see? it's you and me against the world..." - in this together, apoptygma berzerk
