The Kill
what if i wanted to break
laugh it all off in your face
what would you do?
what if i fell to the floor
couldn't take all this anymore
what would you do?
i tried to be someone else
but nothing seemed to change
i know now, this is who i really am inside
falling from myself
falling for a chance
i know now, this is who i really am
kill
break me down
bury me, bury me
i am finished with you
look in my eyes
you're killing me, killing me
all I wanted was you
Thursday, February 22, 2007
-1:52 AM
listening:
nickelback - far away
my chemical romance - helena
apoptygma berzerk - starsign
60 seconds to mars - capricorn (a brand new name)
...thank you roger. you opened by eyes tonight. tonight's 'coffee session' has been priceless. and once again i've to retire to my mind and perhaps have a lot of things to think about again. perhaps it's not a bad thing... and maybe at the end of it all, i'll return with a much better resolution, with a stronger head.
perhaps it's time for another metamorphosis?afterall, i've always prided myself for being fluid and not being stale.will it bring more nightmares than dreams?it hurts it really does.
the worse thing that could happen to anyone is to perhaps land yourself in a pitfall of confusion. to wonder why you do what you do. why you react this way. why your heart aches the way it does. why your brain screams out the way it does.
how do you really feel?
i know how i feel. i've known it all along. i know what has to be done.
....and at times like this, i still wish i could cry. to scream out to the empty night sky, to call out to the stars and tell this great big white world, to profess my feelings, to scream out my fears...
sleep comes quickly.
and tonight, mr. sandman weaves a montrous pattern of nightmares.
hidden under a facade of blood, tears and tragedy. perhaps they'll trap me, ensnare me, keep me from returning to reality.
is it bliss? to be forever bound to dreams and a world where no one knows it's real.
and so i run and hide, and cut myself to feel again. to start again with a brand new name.
...but what's this name without letters? because that is where they were birthed. through seemingly meaningless letters, forms a bloody pattern.
here i am, snug under the covers. waiting for monsters to appear. because i've made my peace, and it's time for me to say... farewell.
