The Kill
what if i wanted to break
laugh it all off in your face
what would you do?
what if i fell to the floor
couldn't take all this anymore
what would you do?
i tried to be someone else
but nothing seemed to change
i know now, this is who i really am inside
falling from myself
falling for a chance
i know now, this is who i really am
kill
break me down
bury me, bury me
i am finished with you
look in my eyes
you're killing me, killing me
all I wanted was you
Thursday, March 22, 2007
-12:44 AM
listening:
vnv nation - endless skies
you feel the most vulnerable when you're useless against circumstances that seem to fight against you no matter what you do. no matter how much blood you've shed, no matter how much tears you cry, no matter how much effort you put in...
and yes i'm feeling useless. i can't do shit to change the situation i'm in.
i tried. yes i did. i know i did. and i know i tried my utmost. and right now, i'm at my wits end. i don't know what else to do. stuck between a rock and a hard place...
and i don't even know if the person i care most about actually feels the same way. and it still hurts. it cuts like a knife. and still this feeling is very familiar... i've been here before.
deja vu.
somewhat similar, not completely different but yet, definitely not exactly the same.
and still, i don't know what to do. still helpless. still useless. and it seems that my mind is pulling me back to my same shell.
wrap yourself in your wings. incubate. cry if you must. cover up. hide yourself from the world. that which cannot kill you will make you stronger.
do you know what you want, marcus?
yes i know. all i wanted was someone to hold and to love. all i wanted was someone to love me back too. to wipe my tears. and to shield each other from the cold night air... so that we'll never be lonely no more. because we have each other.
now?
it seems that i'm losing grip. it seems that this helpless romantic is losing his crusade for love. perhaps... perhaps... only time will tell.
