The Kill
what if i wanted to break
laugh it all off in your face
what would you do?
what if i fell to the floor
couldn't take all this anymore
what would you do?
i tried to be someone else
but nothing seemed to change
i know now, this is who i really am inside
falling from myself
falling for a chance
i know now, this is who i really am
kill
break me down
bury me, bury me
i am finished with you
look in my eyes
you're killing me, killing me
all I wanted was you
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
-7:26 PM
listening:
u2 - staring at the sun
u2 - stay (faraway so close!)
ok so things seem to be going great. i wouldn't even wanna put my hopes up. but well... at least my freelance is going ok. gettin' more jobs than ever. and hopefully at the start of next month i can get a good 5 digit in my bank balance. like what dad said, 'it's a rather good amount for someone that started from scratch.' and yes, i think so too. sure makes me think about all the shit that i went through to push past 4k. i'm not gonna get there again. no more. i had enough of living from hand to mouth, thinking when i'm gonna get my next buck to go shopping etc. etc.
i still wish that things will get better. afterall, we're born greedy aren't we? i wish to be spinning. i wish to get my name on a cd cover. i wish to get a 4-5 star review from the 'life' section ppl. i wish to be on talkshows, on the centrespread of 'life'. basically, get a lot of press coverage and a lot of money.
it's gonna be a hard fight to get there. but hell, i'm gonna try. at least i knew i gave it a shot.
and i hope that my relationship gets better too. feels like we're somehow hanging in limbo right now. but i guess there's a price to pay for everything. she isn't the sharpest tool in the shed, she ain't the prettiest girl around, neither is she the smartest, but.... i'd still give anything to see her smile. is this love? perhaps. i don't know cos love is blind, so they say. and if the entire world crumbles, i'd still be standing tall for her. perhaps this is love. love that bites, love that hurts, love that gives warmth. perhaps.
so all i can do is hope that this year gets better. and approach the entire world with a smile on my face.
:)
